Entelechy

My mom recently passed along to me Ellen Burstyn's autobiography, Lessons in Becoming Myself which I've really been enjoying. Early on in the book, she talks about the Aristotelian concept of entelechy as "the realization of the full potential of the being already present in the seed...the idea that there is a life force in each of us pulling us toward who we really are."

I like this idea. It's comforting- the notion that we already have within us the potential of everything we're going to be. That potential of course can be encouraged or discouraged by many external forces, but the seed is still intact. I find this idea particularly useful to call upon as an actor whenever I get into the trap of basing my value on the way that others see me, on how in demand I am, or what I have to show for myself, etc.

I've had this conversation with many artists- that there's always going to be a next step/something to reach for no matter the level of success. In one light this realization can be utterly depressing, that the thing you imagine will make you happy will never be lasting, that there will always be more that you desire,a never-ending chase. It can also be equally liberating- accepting that yes, there will always be that desire for more- the journey is part of the thrill- so you might as well learn to find peace with where you currently are. This, of course, is much easier said than done, to truly truly be okay with exactly where you are in the present moment.

I didn't make any formal resolutions this year, but for 2009 I'd really like to work on this, to focus on ways that I can love and nurture my seed and tune in more deeply to the life force within me. What about you? Where are your life forces taking you?

Miracles Great and Small

So Hanukah/Hanukkah/Chanukah begins on Sunday night, and it's gotten me thinking about belief and faith. One aspect of Judaism that I really love is the importance placed on telling the story behind each holiday year after year, encouraging questions and deeper discussion. The story of Hanukah is one I've known by heart since I was a little kid. The Jews were being persecuted and Judah and the Macabees helped win their temple back and when they went to rededicate the temple there was only enough oil left to burn the candle for one day but the oil miraculously lasted eight days. See chabad.org for a more in depth look.

Anyway it reminded me of the power of faith, that so much more is possible than what we see at first glance. In our highly advanced technological world where you can walk around with an iphone telling you how to get anywhere you want to go and what music you just heard playing in a store, I think it's important to examine our belief in that which we cannot always see. I'm not talking about believing in God per se, just examining the role of faith in our lives. I think the more that we imagine possible, the more we open ourselves up to new experiences, people, ways of thinking. I don't think it's an easy thing to always have faith that you'll find love, happiness, fulfillment, but I believe it's incredibly beneficial for our well being to continue to do so.

My mom has often said that she wishes she could see the end of her life like the end of a book, that it would comfort her knowing how everything pans out, and then she could just relax and live her life. While I don't think I would want to know my ultimate fate, I do understand the impulse of wanting to know, say what your life will be like in 10 years. This is especially attractive since the pursuit of an artist is so fraught with frustration and uncertainty, anything definite that you have to look forward to is such a welcome gem.

Sometimes I think the older we get the harder it is to just "believe" and have faith in ourselves and all we are capable of. Remember all the things you believed in as a little kid? After reading The Wonderful World of Henry Sugar and Other Stories by Roald Dahl, I was totally convinced that if I just practiced enough and really really tried that I could be telekinetic, and who is to say that I can't? I think our bodies and minds are capable of way more than we think possible. As I light the candles of the menorah for the next 8 nights, I am going to remind myself to think beyond what I see and hear each day and remember that miracles can happen.

Artistic Power

I've been slacking a little bit on the blogging of late but reading my friend Scott's amazing post today inspired me. I've heard many people say recently, in various ways, that President Obama is going to have so much on his hands dealing with this economic crisis and all that it entails, that it is foolish to think he's going to be able to focus on "small" issues like education and the arts. It's true, our country is in a pretty bad way right now, but I do not believe we should stand for education and arts being pushed to the bottom of the list once again, especially after President Obama (yeah I know he's not president YET but I just like calling him that) unveiled a rather impressive platform of support for the arts.

Let's hold him to these ideas and help ensure that they happen. None of them are outrageous, people- these are pretty basic and concrete plans-- building an artists corps, reinvesting in arts education, promoting cultural diplomacy--all of these efforts CAN make a real difference not just nationally but globally. We are especially in need of cultural diplomacy right now in a time when so many countries have such a negative opinion of America and what we stand for. Artists can cut across these boundaries and make a documentary about Hip Hop in Morocco or a collaborative theatre piece between a New York and Kosovar theatre company or give cameras to kids in India, Haiti, Egypt, and Israel and teach them the art of photography.

Sometimes it's easy for me to get down on pursuing the path of an artist, like what have I actually done today that really matters? But then I read one of Scott's posts or listen to an impassioned Education Director of a theatre talk about how many kids they reach with their artistic programming, public school kids who maybe have never seen a play before who find that the arts can connect and illuminate their lives and can offer them something incredibly valuable and empowering. So go out and support the arts, man. They need you!

Just One More Thing to be Thankful For

Youtube.

Ok, so this past weekend's issue of the NY Times Magazine had an article where a number of writers were asked to name their favorite or most memorable onscreen moment from that year and "This American Life" contributing writer, Starlee Kline, wrote about this youtube video that I don't even want to spoil by describing. The quality isn't great, but just watch it and then watch it again. It's amazing. Feel free to share your own favorite onscreen moments of the year, and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Taking Over

So I know I just finished raving about Charlie Kaufman and "Synecdoche New York," but I just saw another rave worthy performance so I just have to put it out there. If you have the opportunity to be in New York between now and Dec 14, you have to see Danny Hoch's new solo show "Taking Over" at The Public Theatre. (and if you can't make it to NYC at least check him out on youtube) His current show is about gentrification in Brooklyn and he plays a whole bunch of characters-- including a Dominican taxi dispatcher, an African American woman sitting on her stoop, a French Real Estate Broker, a Midwestern Hippie girl selling her wares---all totally dead on. I was just in absolute awe of this guy as a performer, and a bit jealous, as I often am when I see people just absolutely rock so hard in whatever they do, but mostly I was inspired.

It feels so refreshing to see good performances, especially good theatre, which I'm often so critical of because it's my medium of choice. And as an aspiring solo performer, I left the show feeling so charged up with possibility. There are so many stories to be told and part of the thrill of a solo performance is watching that one person embody such an array of people--it goes back to the basic core of storytelling, and when it's done well, it's absolutely mesmerizing.

I often feel reserved about my own solo work--like I don't have a strong enough point of view--there's not some big social or political issue that I'm commenting on, but seeing "Taking Over" was a reminder of the basic writer's axiom- write what you know. Danny Hoch is a third generation New Yorker, grew up in Queens and has lived in Williamsburg since 1990--he writes characters that are a part of his life. I don't need to go interview Israelis and Palestinians in order to create an effective piece- I can just write from my perspective and my heart. I know that's getting a little cheesy, but I think sometimes it's good to remind myself artistically and personally that it's all in there, that
"you are already whatever you seek to be." -Kelly McGonigal

A Conversation with the Audience

Charlie Kaufman... This guy is awesome. Definitely check out the above interview with Charlie Rose- it was filmed right after "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (one of my all time fav movies ever) came out and it was supposedly the first interview he'd done. I just recently saw his directorial debut, "Synecdoche New York" which I highly recommend and I just can't stop thinking about this guy- I find him such a fascinating and inspiring artist.

One of my favorite parts of this interview is when he's talking about the kinds of movies he's interested in making and he talks about theatre as a live medium vs. film as a dead medium and that he's drawn to creating films that will provoke a conversation with the audience. You can't leave one of his films not wanting to talk about it, and to me, that is the point.

Why should we make new works of art, music, film, theatre if we don't have something to say to the audience or at least to elicit? What I love most about him is that he totally challenges your notion of what film can be--he just explores the medium to its max and that is exciting to me. I leave his films wanting to be more creative and original and bold and inventive.

So go see Synecdoche New York and let me know what you think of it.

Back in BK

I bid my adieu to Cleveland yesterday after having our closing performance of "Goldstar, Ohio" and now I am back in my cozy apartment with my boyfriend in Brooklyn. It was truly an honor to work on this important play and I only hope that many more people across the country will have the opportunity to see it in upcoming years. I hold a special place in my heart for Cleveland, not so much for the city I would say, as for the number of awesome people that I met there.

So now it's back to the grind. My boyfriend very accurately predicted that I'd be really happy to be home on Sunday and then by Monday I'd be freaking out about jobs. He knows me too well. I am trying to invoke a new mantra of being Patient, Positive, and Pro-Active. It's going ok so far. I have a meeting today with a good lead for some tutoring work and I'm going to put up a bunch of tutoring fliers in my neighborhood and walk around and see what kinds of other part-time job opportunities I can scrounge up. As for upcoming acting opportunities, we shall see.

So yes it's scary to not really know where my income is going to be coming from but I feel privileged to be able to pursue what I love, and for the moment, that is enough. Tonight I'm going for a walk with a friend in my fav. place, Prospect Park. Yay!