American Pride

There is a line in one of interview transcripts for our play where the mom of one of the Marines who died talks about "being an American worth fighting for." I was reminded of this a few nights ago when we had an event at a local library in Cleveland where we read excerpts of the play. There was a discussion afterwards, and an older gentleman who I'm pretty sure was a veteran remarked that the majority of Americans today have no connection or interest in what's going on with the military. He went on to suggest that there is strong correlation between serving your country and having pride in your country and that he feels that sense of pride and service is lacking in young people today.

The discussion really got me thinking about my own pride in my country. I know that being an American affords me all sorts of privileges that I often take for granted, but I also find myself often critical of certain policies and attitudes in our country. When I studied abroad in Barcelona I cringed whenever I was around loud American tourists quietly hoping I would not get lumped in with these obnoxious offenders. I did everything I could to immerse myself in the Catalan culture, taking all my classes with Spanish and other European students at the University, and shunning any classes where I would be with other Americans.

And then I saw Madonna's 'Drowned World' concert. I had waited in line overnight to get the tickets- it was my first time seeing her in concert and when she walked out on stage, I am not ashamed to say it, I started to cry. And out of nowhere, my American pride started to blossom. I was like, that's right, she's from my country! I'll claim ownership to that! Reflecting on that experience, I was surprised with how fiercely I wanted to cling to my American identity in that moment.

For me, these moments of pride have been pretty fleeting, though. I don't feel an ever-present sense of connection with my country but maybe that's because it's impossible to generalize what it means to be American---it's so different for each person. We are a relatively new country almost entirely composed of immigrants spread across vastly diverse geographic and cultural areas. In that respect, if I were asked to join the circle I mostly strongly identified with I would probably go to the Brooklyn, Performer, Vegan, Jewish, or Woman circles before joining the American circle, and maybe that's ok.

I guess time will tell the course of my American pride. I'm certainly hoping with all my might that November 4th will give me a huge reason to be proud again, to feel united and hopeful about the future that is possible in our country...

How to Bring Home the (Soy) Bacon

This has pretty much been the recurring question of my summer. As I continue my artistic pursuits, how am I going to make enough money to live in New York? I have a little hiatus from thinking about that while I’m out here in Cleveland doing this play, but I know that as soon as I return, I’ll be right back in that quandry.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this, but when I’m feeling particularly masochistic I like to go on Craigslist and browse apartments in other random cities marveling over where I could live in Cleveland OH or Burlington VT.

I start to imagine fantasy scenarios- starting up a vegan bakery/bookstore/performance space in Burlington, moving to India to study yoga…But, the truth is, I love Brooklyn and there is no place I would rather live at this time in my life, as tough as it is.

So, jobs. I’m really curious about the kinds of day jobs that artists have- I’d love to assemble some sort of database or something because there exists such a wide range of possibilities. As for myself, I’ve done the waitressing/catering thing and I’ve tried my hand at the office temping thing and I know those are pretty much off the list. I’ve really loved the teaching artist and tutoring jobs I’ve had but those present the challenge of: what do you do when you have to leave town? I don’t like the idea of letting kids down. Sometimes I feel like I’m being incredibly picky in that there are so many jobs I just don’t want to do. On the one hand, I’m getting to pursue my dream, I should be content to work wherever I can in order to make money, but on the other hand, the reality is that we spend the majority of our days at work, and if I’m going to be devoting that much time to something, I have to like it, which pretty much brings me back to square 1. What is this ideal job that I don’t hate but that’s flexible enough that I can leave? I’m just not sure.

Any thoughts? Any artists who have found their perfect day job? I’d love to hear your stories.

Brooklyn, OH

So I experienced Brooklyn, OH today while I was out registering voters and let me just say, it was an eye opening experience. I spent most of the morning in Parma at Cuyahoga Community College where I registered a whole bunch of young voters (my total today was 30- yay!) and before heading back to our home base, we decided to hit some of the strip malls in Old Brooklyn. Not so much success there. I stopped to chat with two girls sitting outside the pizza place where they worked- they seemed to be in their late teens, early twenties, and I asked them if they were registered to vote.

One said yes and the other said no, and when I asked why, she replied, no, I don't want to vote, both of them are stupid. When pressed further she said, she didn't want to vote Republican, and she didn't like Obama because he had barely been in office and didn't have any experience and his religion supports killing people. Wait, what religion, I asked. Muslim, they both responded. Um, Obama is Christian, I corrected (not to mention that Islam does not advocate killing people). No, they both said, he just converted when he got into public office.

So, yeah....that was frightening to say the least. Definitely something I've yet to encounter in Brooklyn, NY...

Rehearsals for Goldstar Ohio are going well. There is something deeply moving about working on this show, speaking the words of actual people who have experienced such grief and pain. It's a very emotional experience and between that and registering voters I'm feeling pretty exhausted, but in a good way.

In unrelated news, Philip Seymour Hoffman's company in NY- LAByrinth is creating an alliance with Cate Blanchett's company in Sydney and Trafalgar Studios in London to do cross cultural exchanges and performances- um how much do I want to be in the middle of that sandwich? That is one of my dreams- to be involved in a theatrical collaboration abroad not necessarily with Phil and Cate, but that would be nice.

And finally, my blogging audience (which at this point is pretty much zero because I haven't told anyone about this blog yet which makes it easier to write) I leave you with this question: if money was not a concern, how would you spend your days?


Dream Big.

New Beginnings

How to make theatre? How to make money? These two questions have pretty much consumed me since graduating a few months ago with my MFA and moving back to NYC. So I've decided to start a blog about it, not just exclusively about these questions, but using them as a starting off point to continue an ongoing dialogue. I welcome your feedback, questions, comments...

So on the making theatre front, I was recently cast in a show which I am very excited about, "Goldstar, Ohio" which is making its world premiere at the Cleveland Public Theatre Oct 16-Nov 8. So I've been in Cleveland for the past week--it's my first time here although I did live in Columbus during High School. It's pretty typically Midwestern--small city, lots of suburbs, and everyone you meet is really nice and helpful. Since we're rehearsing at night I've found myself a day job working as a canvass organizer for Grassroots Campaigns Inc, affiliated with MoveOn.org. Basically our office is a bare bones abandoned storefront and each day we get sent off with clipboards into different locations throughout Cleveland to register voters.

Yesterday was my first day on the street and it was a pretty hard first day. It was raining and a Saturday, so not the busiest day in downtown Cleveland. Our first post had us stationed under the awning of a bar by the Cleveland Indians stadium. Basically I was having to compete with the scalper guys that were like, "Tickets? Anybody need some tickets," trying to pipe in with "Hi! Are you registered to vote?" Most people were polite, said yes, and kept walking. I had a handful who just ignored me and said "No thank you!" Being outside in the rain did not seem to be working in our favor so our next try was the food court area in the Tower City indoor mall, a lot of foot traffic, but still no luck. In a last ditch effort we decided to just ride the train (Cleveland has a small but decent Rapid Transit System) so we rode the Red Line from downtown out to the airport and back, and finally I registered two voters!!! One was a boy who had just turned 18 and had been meaning to register but just hadn't gotten around to it, so that pretty much made my day. It's interesting, in all my years voting, this is the first time I've viewed it as an important civic duty, an opportunity to exercise my right, and share my voice. I think it's the first time that I've actually been inspired by a presidential candidate.

So that's what I'll be filling my days with, working the streets to make sure that Barack Obama wins Ohio! And working my nights bringing alive the incredibly compelling true stories of families in Ohio who had a son/brother/husband in the Marines who was killed in Iraq in August of 2005. It's my first time playing a living character, speaking her actual words, and it's been a very enlightening process so far. Again, it feels very important to be giving voice to these stories and it's made me think about all the other stories out there waiting to be told, the ones that have been ignored or are pushed to the margins.

I think one of the things that most excites me about working on new plays is that sense of importance and relevance, the need for a particular story to be shared in this particular moment and space in time. I think the theatre world needs more of this work; it needs artists who are willing to take risks and it needs more institutions and funding sources willing to support the kind of work that directly engages its audience and that takes advantage of the unique opportunities inherent in creating a live performance...

So there you have it- my first blog post. Stay tuned for more stories from the streets of Cleveland.